Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize