its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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