i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
