I hope mine doesn't look like that
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
