no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
