i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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