i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
