i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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