Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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