I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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