There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize