We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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