Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
