alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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