What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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