I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
