so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
