Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize