i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
