I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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