dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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