I wish my penis had an off switch
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
vagina is talking i cant
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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