I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So vagazzling was a success
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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