She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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