Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize