I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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