Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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