drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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