Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
