I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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