i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
