One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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