filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
