No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
