I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
