bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
