I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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