I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
