There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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