I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
