Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
