i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
