Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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