my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
