P.S. I can't hear my feet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
