Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
