I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
