I feel great
I just peed on a car
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
sarcasm needs its own font
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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