it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
