check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm both gender and math confused
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
