I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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