i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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