I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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