I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
