my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I did not marry a roomba.
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