dude i'm inner monologue high
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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