We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
