when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize