if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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