she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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