just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
