if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
