it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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