I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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