this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So squirting runs in the family.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I love you. Go after that dick
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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