And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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