I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just want to make out with him forever
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
