You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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