Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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