Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
