butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
