He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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