ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize