I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
