It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
