peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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