I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
