she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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