I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
