I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
