i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
