Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize